We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed                                                   II Corinthians 4:8-9

His name is Rocky. Some of my readers may recall a story I wrote a week or so ago when I wrote about a plucky squirrel who injured himself in my back yard after an unfortunate fall from the bird feeder he was raiding. I was just watching him drag himself forward to the field of sunflower seeds that have fallen from my bird feeder. It now is likely his only source of food. He cannot climb trees now- I watched him try and fail a few days ago. He has found solace in cover under tree in my yard, and just a few yards from that, he goes to a thicket that leads to a drainage ditch that supplies him with water.

He is named Rocky because of two venerable “Rockys” that came to mind- Rocky the squirrel from Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoon fame, and the tenacious Rocky Balboa, aka Sylvester Stallone. My little guy Rocky is every bit as plucky and clever as Rocket J. Squirrel from Rocky and Bullwinkle, and he is every bit as tenacious as Rocky Balboa.   

Watching Rocky gives me renewed hope every time I see him. I root for him immensely, and I try to guard the treacherous 40 or 50 yards he must traverse from his hiding areas to the food supply. If I see the feral cat, or the hunting mama hawk that roams near the yard, I will chase them off.

Rocky is making the best of a difficult situation. He has learned to move by using his three good legs, and kind of hurling himself forward to get from one place to another. He has actually improved in his locomotion, and I hope he can possibly heal. So far, he is making the best of it.

I have encountered many people over the years who have made heroic efforts in managing to live with significant challenges. On our difficult days, we simply need to recall those who struggle every day. That gives us the perspective we need to practice the virtues of gratitude and empathy. 

Prayer: Lord, bless those who are struggling in managing life’s difficulties at this time, Amen

The Lord is compassionate and gracious,
    slow to anger, abounding in love.
 He will not always accuse,
    nor will he harbor his anger forever;
 he does not treat us as our sins deserve
    or repay us according to our iniquities.
 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
    so great is his love for those who fear him;
 as far as the east is from the west,
    so far has he removed our transgressions from us                                                                                       Psalm 103:8-12

Today is the start of a new month- September. September feels like a fresh start month. School has just begun for the younger set, football season is just starting, and while the temperatures are still very hot around my area, there are a few trees showing signs of starting their rest cycle. Of course, as they do that, they are dropping seeds and leaves that become part of a new growth cycle. New starts all of them.

September is indeed the start of meteorological Fall. So, as we start a fresh new season, what are the things that you would like to start anew? We can take any starting point and renew our efforts at anything. Is it exercise? Better eating habits? Better sleep hygiene? Less screen time? More intentional time with those you love?

The good news is we can choose whatever we want and get a new start on it if we give ourselves permission to do so. God has given us a clean slate of forgiveness, and we need to remind ourselves of that each day.

Prayer: Lord, we are grateful for your unfailing forgiveness, Amen

You have heard me teach things that have been confirmed by many reliable witnesses. Now teach these truths to other trustworthy people who will be able to pass them on to others.                                            II Timothy 2:22

I recently had a discussion with a client about the need to reinvent ourself as we go on in our career. I am at the point in my career that I can look back a lot and reflect. Yet, just looking back at the “old days” would not be a very helpful exercise if I did not use it to pass on to others some things I have learned along my journey. Sharing wisdom and experiences gained over our lifetime is not only a privilege, it is a responsibility.

I tell my clients sometimes that we need to spend most of our time looking through the windshield, not the rearview mirror. Looking back through that mirror is helpful, even necessary at times, but if we spend a majority of our time looking backwards, we will be in trouble. We won’t be able to see what is in front of us.

As we age, we need to keep looking forward- to continue reinventing ourselves to remain relevant and viable. We do have much to share with our younger brothers and sisters, but in order to do that, we need to stay current, and engaged with the culture.

Yes, there is a tendency- I have a tendency- to look back wistfully at the past. It is a nice thing to do once in a while, and it is often comforting. But we must remember that we still have a future, no matter what our age, and we owe it to those following us to give as much guidance and direction as we can.

Prayer: Thank you Lord for the plan to pass on to others the things we have learned from our journey, Amen

“Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time  – Jim Rohn

For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up. ..

From Ecclesiastes 3

How many hours do you spend on your phone each day? No, don’t tell me, but just be aware yourself of how many hours a day you devote to screen time. I get that report on my iPhone every Sunday morning. Sometimes I am really shocked at the amount of time I spend scrolling on social media.

We as a society are spending way more time in front of screens than we are say, reading books. What is this doing to our general well-being? Are we truly better informed, or are we just getting the feeds that algorithms have set before us?

When we choose books or articles to read, we ourselves are curating the content that we want to consume. Hopefully, we choose a wide variety of reading material- current events, fiction, non-fiction, history, specialty information for our careers and interests, etc.

Management of our precious time allotment on earth is so vital.

As we all know, it is pretty easy to get sucked into a reading environment that has been curated for us by some social media giant’s algorithm. Let us just be sure we are in charge of our own reading habits.

Prayer: Lord, help us to use the time that you have given to us wisely, Amen

You will know the truth and the truth will make you free.”                                                                           John 8:32

I was reading a book about football recently, and the topic of CTE’s came up. CTE stands for Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy. This is a type of injury that is all-too common for football players, especially professional football players. A recent study of autopsies performed on deceased professional football players indicated that 25% of the players studied had signs of CTE.

That is a shocking number. CTE’s have been associated with erratic behavior, depression, violence and suicidal tendencies. Former professional football players have been diagnosed with Parkinson’s Dosease, and early onset dementia in a much higher percentage than the general population. In short, it seems that the odds of serious brain injury are wildly escalated for former professional football players.

This made me think of the process of denial. Essentially, denial works in us to make us think, “yes, it can happen, but it won’t happen to me”. The same principal holds for smokers. For many decades, people knew that smoking was associated with lung cancer, heart disease, and a host of other chronic degenerative diseases. Yet, smokers, addicted to nicotine, rationalized their behavior in a similar way. They would say things like, “I don’t smoke as much as some people, so I’m OK”; or “yes there is a risk, but I can avoid it”. Some might simply say things like, “Well, you have to die of something…”

We all use denial at times, which is a way of protecting us from fearful things in our life. The underlying defense seems to boil down to, “If I don’t think about it, it will go away”. This is akin to little children who may believe that if they cover their eyes, they can become invisible.

This is not an indictment of people, it is simply an understanding that we all have some defense postures that are not logical, but are somehow comforting. We all fall into this thinking at times in various ways. My point here is that looking seriously at our denial type thinking is important. We need to face truths that may be uncomfortable, but in the long run, hard as it is, it can prolong our life.  

Prayer: Lord, help us to look clearly at our lives to be at our best, Amen.

Lord, when doubts fill my mind, when my heart is in turmoil, quiet me and give me renewed hope and cheer                                                                                                                                            Psalm 94:19 (Living Bible)

One of the homework assignments I often give to clients is a self-awareness exercise. I ask them to spare just a few minutes during the day, and take control of their breathing (4 seconds in through the nose, hold for about 6 seconds, and breathe out slowly through the mouth for about 8 seconds). Then, having done that a few times until they feel relaxed, to ask themselves, “what am I feeling right now?”

This may take some practice for people who have not really taken time to consider their inner selves. We are so used to paying attention to the noise around us that we can lose sight of our inner being. Often, we have become used to the outer self- the face that we project to others.

This honest appraisal of our inner being is important. We need to become honest with our emotions. So often, we mislabel those feelings, and fear comes out behaviorally disguised as anger, or sadness come out as social isolation.

It is difficult to really come to grips with those inner emotions, because, once we recognize them, we become responsible to deal with them honestly. We can no longer project those feelings onto other around us and blame them for what is going on with us.

I have seen so many of my brave clients actually go through this process and grow. It is hard work, but it is worth it.

Prayer: Lord, give us the courage to look inside ourselves honestly, Amen

Guard well the splendid, God-given ability you received as a gift from the Holy Spirit who lives within you                                                                                                                                                         II Timothy 1:14

I have a fair number of clients whose anxiety has been exacerbated by the political turmoil that we find around us in the United States. Many clients talk about the fear spurred by the erosion of trust in our institutions, and the sense of powerlessness that they feel. Whereas in the past the political parties were able to disagree, but could still work on compromise to deal with national problems, current politicians find no common ground nor even the willingness to compromise.  

Indeed, many people feel fear and worry with no way to effect action that gives them a sense of satisfaction. As I have discussed, the antidote to anxiety is behavior- action of some type. What actions can people take other than to contact their representatives or senators? By all means, try that, but even then, many feel unheard in gerrymandered districts. Their voice feels small or altogether absent.

I suggest to clients that they can think very local. What I mean is, take actions that can affect those people closest to you. We all need a sense of purpose and a sense of power. Power is not power over others, but power to help change things for the better. I have suggested that clients volunteer in their own neighborhood to help people who are struggling- perhaps a disabled or elderly person. I have suggested to some, whose love is animals and pets, to help out in animal shelters.  

There are many opportunities to positively affect people who are nearby. We need a sense of purpose and a sense of power to make things better for ourselves and others. So, when the political process seems distant and even untouchable, having done all that we can to register our position, then we need to change the world that is closest to us.  

Prayer: Lord, help us to use what we can to help others and in so doing, to help ourselves.

She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
 She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
 Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
 “Many women do noble things,
    but you surpass them all.”
 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Proverbs 31:26-31

I write this blog on the day that Dolly Parton met her heavenly Father. The world was shocked and saddened by the news of the death of this beautiful soul. I cannot imagine anyone not loving Dolly Parton. She had an abundance of talent, as a music writer, a performer, an actress and, all- around entertainer.  

More than that, the woman was a philanthropist and a gentle soul. She had a smile and an attitude that could disarm the most entrenched critics in the world. She initiated a program to get books into the hands of millions of children, and she brought joy into the lives of countless people around the globe.

Dolly grew up poor, and determined that she would make the world a better place for her having been in it.

She succeeded.  

Prayer: Lord, we are grateful for the life of Dolly Parton. Thank you for sharing her with us, Amen 

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
    And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
    and to walk humbly with your God                                                                                                         Micah 6:8

We have a little squirrel who regularly feeds under the bird feeder for dropped sunflower seeds. Indeed, the finches and cardinals are pretty messy and aggressive eaters, so there is a fair amount of seed under the feeder. In fact, there is an entire sunflower patch, densely populated with sunflower seedlings, but that is simply an unintended consequence of feeding the birds. But feeding those squirrels is also an unintended consequence, one that until recently caused me to resent the squirrels’ forays into the feeder itself. The nerve of those little squirrels I thought!

That is until I saw one of those squirrels who had climbed into the feeder fall to the ground and injure himself. He is hurt to the point that he has trouble walking, and he drags his right rear leg, as he struggles to get along. He does come to feed on the ground now about every day, and it is clearly a struggle for him. He has found safety under a tree in my yard that has good ground cover. It has worked for him so far, and yesterday, I saw him escape the attack of feral cat that had tracked him.

I say all this for the lessons it provides. First, that little squirrel was the object of my frustration when he climbed into my bird feeder. Now however, I find myself not only rooting for the little guy, but making sure that there is enough seed on the ground to keep him fed. Funny how our attitude can change so quickly when we see the struggles of our fellow creatures.

That squirrel has a tremendous will to live. He drags himself to that area under my feeder, risking the attacks of cats, or hawks or whatever other dangers that may be out there. What power there is in the desire to survive in terrible circumstances!

Of course, millions of my fellow humans suffer in this world, beset by war, famine, and often, cruelty inflicted by other human beings. I am reminded daily by my little squirrel friend that our job is to help others sustain life, and alleviate, as much as we can, suffering that the world can inflict.

Prayer: Lord, help your people to work to alleviate the suffering of others, Amen

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.                            Proverbs 22:6

Over the years of my practice, I have seen numerous instances where my client has related that they were not affirmed by their parents. This takes many forms- from outright abuse, to neglect, to simple failure to nurture the dreams of their children.

Again, I am not one to push onto parents all the failures in adulthood that my clients face. We are all aware that even with childhoods that were less than perfect, we still have the choices and opportunities to become successful adults. Of course, clients who have had the trauma of abuse have a terrible burden to overcome, but indeed, many of my clients have overcome in spectacular ways.

However, parents need to recognize that their children have dreams, and often the talent and ambition to back that up. Our job as parents is to help identify those dreams and talents of our children and nurture them any way that we can. Just letting a child know that he/she can achieve their dreams, no matter what they are, is a huge encouragement. It says, “I believe in you!”

Kids look to their parents for validation, in some form, their whole life. Let’s make sure that they do not feel that they have to work hard for our love and affirmation. Just like God loves us right where we are (and He does), we need to clearly convey that to our children regularly. We need to express to them verbally and non-verbally that they can reach their dreams, and that we believe in them.

Prayer: Lord, help us to identify the dreams and gifts of our children and the next generations, and to nurture those dreams, Amen